that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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