I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The police scanner is talking about you again....
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
