Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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