Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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