That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize