you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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