Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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