singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
