well I can't set my house on fire every night
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
