I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
