Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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