Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
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Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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