I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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