all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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