I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
