Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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