Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
