So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
