U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
