so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
