It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
