The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
