i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
