we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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