I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
well you can't waste a boner
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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