I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
