I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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