Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
