why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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