Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
