I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
