watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it glows. i had to have it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
