I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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