I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
