need another drink. this is the easiest way
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
