a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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