You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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