I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
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I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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