I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize