in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
