i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
this will be a night to untag.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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