Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
