I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
