Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
