Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
How external is "for external use only"?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.