covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle