you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jÃ¤ger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.