I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles