Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Watching her eat just hurts me
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.