ADVERTISEMENT

• (905): View more from Toronto

  i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  i totally said that

  Fav 19 4299 816

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  Heyyyy darlin are you busy?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

  Fav 34 26378 2308

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (518): View more from New York

  he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."

  Fav 20 9271 2012

  share tweet
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.

  Fav 15 6605 2271

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand

  Fav 8 4524 1296

  share tweet
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools

  Fav 2 3508 1026

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?

  Fav 8 1044 2569

  share tweet
  

• (763): View more from Minnesota

  My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away

  Fav 5 2343 830

  share tweet
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could

  Fav 5 1652 781

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang

  Fav 2 1248 711

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...

  Fav 4 889 675

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina

  Fav 5 858 543

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged

  Fav 3 213 445

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy

  Fav 1 199 317

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (217): View more from Illinois

  I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal

  Fav 0 122 66

  share tweet
  

Randomize