There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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