I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
