Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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