hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
