I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize