update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
