Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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