i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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