I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
