She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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