that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
