Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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