he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
