I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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