They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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