So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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