Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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