If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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