fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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