We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
