Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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