If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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